there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize