Pappa wants mamma naked
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The power of my boobs compel you
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
