There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
