i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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