Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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