I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Randomize
