My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
