laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I wish i was in the wii world.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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