Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
