you guys were way drunker than both of me
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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