Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
