8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I believe in your delicious
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
