Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Randomize
