i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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