If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize