if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
