i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
