After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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