I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
