You're so nebulous sometimes
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize