Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize