I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize