She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
