So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
did you just send me my own nude
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
