wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She swung at the pinata with crutches
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
