He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
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Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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