I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
