Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
