Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
