She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
