Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
...so i touched it.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
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