yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
