Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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