whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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