what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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