Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
