Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
