i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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