How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
