just tell him i said nine months
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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