come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
