how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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