he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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