We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
