there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize
