why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
