even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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