I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
