You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm getting married
To pizza
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
