Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
