Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
