Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
