It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
