So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
