I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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