yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
