If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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