i think i have herpe
just one?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
