I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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