I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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