Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
