ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
