Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
