Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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