The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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