Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
