No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
