fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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