I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
